Joining in an organization of people who are different than me

Even though I have spent a good portion of my life within Mennonite institutions, There are many times that I feel like an outsider. I grew up attending Goshen City Church of the Brethren, which is a church within the Anabaptist tradition, like the Mennonites, so my background is similar. Because my mother was a teacher at the area Mennonite high school, I also attended Bethany for five years before going to Goshen College. Following my time at Goshen College I spent four years working as the admissions director at Bethany. All in all I feel like I have spent a large portion of my life in Mennonite institutions. There are sometimes when I fit in just fine and other times when it is clear I am an outsider.

I was not brought up in a pacifist household. Members of my family and friends of my family were involved in the military. While I personally consider myself a pacifist I can become irritated with the emphasis the Mennonite church puts on pacifism. It often seems to me that pacifism and nonviolence has become the central core of the Mennonite faith, when to me it is just a small portion. Nonviolence is just one aspect of my faith and in no way is it the most important.

I also seem to feel very differently about political issues than most of the Mennonites I am surrounded by in Goshen. I know that college towns tend to have more liberal leaning views than rural Mennonites, but this past presidential election it became very clear to me that I was in a political minority. My belief in small government has differentiated myself from many of the people I am surrounded by.

It has become clear to me that even though my religious tradition is similar to the Mennonites there are enough differences to make me feel like a fish out of water. As my husband and I continue to search for a church home, it is becoming more and more important to me to find a church that is different from my work environment. I want my world to be bigger than the Mennonite world. If my work environment continues to be at Bethany or in other Mennonite institutions, I want my church life to be something I feel more apart of.

Joining in an organization of people who are different than me

I have put this portion of my blog off the longest because joining an organization of people who are different from me is not something I do naturally. I naturally shy away from things I am uncomfortable with. I like to be around people I have things in common with. I can think of very few times I have pushed myself to be in situations that are out of my comfort zone.

One example I can think of during college was the time I spent in the Voice's In Harmony Gospel choir. I have always enjoyed gospel music and one of the first things I did when I started college at Goshen College was join the choir. Truthfully I am surprised that I had the courage to attend the first practice without knowing anyone. My love of music overrode my fear of uncomfortable situation. Overall this was not a situation that was comfortable for me. I had grown up reading music and this group did not use standard music. The leader would often sing a line and we would echo. Or there would be one line of music and we would have to find our own harmonies. Being a part of this choir was also one of the few times in my life when I was an ethnic minority. Attending a primarily white church, a primarily white Mennonite middle school and high school, and finally a Mennonite college has often meant I am surrounded by people who look a lot like me. I stayed with the choir for one semester before getting busy with other school activities, but every time I heard the choir I was reminded of my time there and how it stretched me out of my comfort zones.

Practice democratic principles. Part 3

One area in my life that is lacking is ethnic diversity within my "groups." Minus one Japanese friend I went to high school with, I spend my time with white, middle class people. My friends, family, colleagues, and church circles are filled with people who are almost just like me. I am drawn to and comfortable around people I have things in common with.

Several times this past year I have felt pulled outside my comfort levels. One of my responsibilities at Bethany is to organize host homes for our international students. This job has led to plenty of interactions with our South Korean students and families. I make trips to the airport to drop off and pick up students and I check in periodically with students to see how their hosting situations are going. I do not do when in situations with language barriers. I find myself becoming very flustered and overwhelmed with these conversations. I realize these situations are stretching for me, mainly because I do not spend a lot of time with people who are different from me.

Practice democratic principles. Part 2

One of my responsibilities at Bethany Christian Schools is to run a middle school devotional group. This is a group of 10-12 6th-8th graders that meets once a week for 30 minutes with a teacher or staff person. This is my fourth year leading a group and in all honesty it is one of the most difficult things I do. I find myself struggling with the middle school age group. They tend to be highly negative, pessimistic, and critical towards each other and adults.

Earlier this year I noticed that the phrase "that is so gay" is used a lot by middle school students. This phrase is used to say things are dumb or stupid. In one of my recent devotional groups one student said the phrase multiple times, even after I told him not to. After the third time I stopped what we were doing and we had a conversation about what the phrase was implying and the undertones involved. The conversation turned into one of the best meetings we had all year. The students finally seemed to understand what they were saying and implying and we agreed, even if they thought homosexuality was wrong, that we wouldn't use the phrase anymore. Especially at a Christian school, our first calling is to show God's love to other people. I told them to use their words. To say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Become aware that you are a role model and act accordingly. Part 3

"A good coach will make his players see what they can be
rather than what they are." - Ara Parasheghian

When I first began coaching I realized quickly that I had a lot of eyes on my, watching everything I did and listening to everything I said. I especially felt this was true at the high school level. My first day of practice, my first year out of college, I was amazed to have 20 pairs of eyes looking at me as the authority figure.

On more than one occasion I have said something flippantly, not thinking much about it, only to have a player repeat what I said back to me. It didn't take long for me to realize that I had the power to impact lives both positively and negatively.

During my four years of coaching I have worked hard to be a positive influence in people's lives. Tennis is such an individual game and one of my biggest tasks is to be a cheerleader for beginning players. A lot of what I do during matches is try to encourage players to help them believe in their abilities.

A tradition I started last year was to do a weekly devotional with my team. Each Monday we start out the school week with a devotional. This has been a good way for me to share my faith with players as well as to talk about issues that are more important than tennis. After 7 seasons of tennis, in 3 1/2 years I know the most important things that happen have nothing to do with wins and loses. The relationships developed are far more important than anything else.

Become aware that you are a role model and act accordingly. Part 2

One way to be a role model is to attend church regularly. I grew up attending Goshen City Church of the Brethren, which is located in Goshen. My father and grandfather grew up in this church too, so we have a long history with the church. When I lived at home we went to church 3 times a week, Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday evening. Sunday morning we went for worship services and Sunday school. Sunday evenings was for youth group and Wednesday evenings was a church meal and choir practice. My parents taught Sunday School faithfully for years and the example was set for me that attending church regularly is important.

When I started college and was off on my own for the first time it was difficult to convince myself to get up for church on Sunday mornings. The first semester of my freshman year I did a pretty good job a going somewhere with a few friends, but I quickly lost interest and it was much easier to get a few extra hours of sleep on Sunday mornings instead of getting up, getting ready, and driving to church.

Even though I enjoyed sleeping in, I started realizing that something was missing from my life without church. I missed the weekly worship services and a connection to a larger Christian community. During my sophomore year of college I was asked to help start a campus worship service for college aged students. College Mennonite church was interested in offering a service that would draw college students. The fruits of our labor was Morning Song, an 11am worship service, led by students. It was heavy on singing and also included a short homily. Most weeks I was helping with something in the service. Whether it was worship leading, giving a homily, or playing music, I was involved several times a month. The final three years of college were some of the most spiritually fulfilling times in my life. I loved being involved and felt nurtured in this setting.

Since I have finished college my husband and I have tried out many churches. We have been married for five years and still have not decided on a church home. I often end up at my home church as a default. We continue to look because we feel it is important to have a church home. Until then we will keep visiting and hopefully soon we will find a church to call home.

Become aware that you are a role model and act accordingly. Part 1

My mother was a science teacher for over 20 years. She developed an Environmental Science class at Bethany Christian Schools that focused on local ecosystems and our impact on the environment. I grew up in a home that recycled everything possible. We had several different stations in the kitchen. Some trash went directly into the trash can. Other food trash went into the container for the compost pile. Other pieces of trash were put in a bag to be recycled. We would be chastised if we put something into the wrong container. My mother hated the idea of anything being thrown away that could have been used for compost or recycled.

Since I am out of my parents house and living on my own I find myself doing the same things my mother did. My husband, Seth, grew up in a home that did some recycling, but the idea of sorting our paper, plastic, cardboard, glass, aluminum, newspaper, etc. is somewhat foreign. He doesn't understand why I get so mad when I find a stack of paper in the trash can. I find myself being as compulsive as my mother, but really feeling ok about it.